The ballad of three
by ajoy3
Summary: 3 different perspectives of a love affair. Inspired by 3 songs
1. Chapter 1

Koga

I watched her.

From high above the trees, her back turned towards me, my eyes still seek out her figure. When she was within my sights, the world seemed to disappear.

All that mattered was _her._

She always wore that smile, the one that stretched so wide, showing off her perfectly pearly teeth. I like when she smiles like that.

And when she laughs, the sweet melody that clenches my heart I find himself floating along with her. She didn't hide behind her hands and giggle like other human women I've seen. No, she laughed without a care.

Gods, I wished she would laugh more.

She is a woman who should always be smiling, always filled with joy.

Damn that bastard for always stealing it.

I'm not a fool. I've noticed how her eyes followed him, the way she watched his movements.

Was he aware? Did he know how her attention was constantly fixated on him?

I hate him for it.

Hate that he seems to shrug it off, like her affections are a nuisance, or something to be ashamed of.

Did he sweet talk her in the dark? When there was no one around to hear their whispers or keep a watchful eye?

Why can't she turn her eyes to me?

Why can't she notice how I stick around, increased my visits to her?

I've noticed.

I've had seen the gleam in her eye growing dimmer. That fleabag was taking a toll on her.

I wouldn't let her go that easily, let the fire die from her eyes.

The woman that I love… hung up on a dog demon.

And one that didn't give two shits about her, when it came right down to it.

After all, if he really cared about Kagome he wouldn't go traipsing off with that dead pile of trash.

Gods, it kills me to watch her pining after him. I feel like my heart is being ripped clear our of my chest.

I had caught her crying one night… caught her alone and in tears after the bastard took off on her to follow the revolting scent of a woman long gone.

I had comforted her, held her as she sobbed into my chest…. Crying over a man that didn't deserve her tears.

What is it that that bastard has that I don't?

Women in my pack flock to me, fight over a minute for my attention.

But Kagome, she just waits for me to come to her. Greets me with a smile and divides her attention amongst everyone in the group.

Like it doesn't matter if I come or go.

But the minute that the hanyou makes a slight movement, takes to a tree or she turns her attention to him.

It drives me fucking crazy. Why? Why cant I have you?

Why cant you turn your attention my way?

I keep holding out hope, keep waiting for you to join my side…

Every time I take off on the road, the path before me seems longer without you.

I keep coming back to you earlier than expected. Each time I leave you, I dying to come back.

Why cant you feel the same way?

I want to protect your smile.

I want to keep it safe, lock it away far from that asshole.

You look so good when you smile, Kagome.

Why is it only reserved for him?

No matter how you look at it, its just wrong. He doesnt love you, doesn't appreciate the things you do. He just gets caught up in the moment and jealous when I'm around.

If he touches you, he has another on his mind, another in his heart.

Gods, I cant stand the thought of it. It makes me sick to think about him touching you so intimately.

He doesn't think about you during the day, wondering if you're resting, concerned if you're eating properly.

I worry about you on the road. Sure, Inuyasha is watching your back in battle, but who is protecting your tears? Your smile? Who is making sure that you're not crying alone in the night?

I want to shoulder it. I want to take on the pain your holding by yourself.

So I try to make you smile, make you laugh. I keep the flirtations light. I keep my touches gentle, no matter what the wolf inside of me is howling to do.

Really, I'm just afraid.

I know you'd chose him over me without hesitation. And I'm not sure I could handle that rejection.

Do you know how happy we would be together?

I wouldn't treat you like this. I wouldn't make you wait for me with tear stained cheeks.

What is it that he has? What makes that bastard so great?

Should I be rougher? Turn my sights to someone else?

Will you finally notice me then?

How long are you going to look like a fool for that guy?

How long will you make me wait?

I can smell your scent again.

It drifts to me from somewhere far away, calling me closer. Enticing me with bittersweet pain.

Your scent conjures up images of you. I can practically hear your laugh dancing on the wind.

I'll turn my course to find you.

I'll keep coming, time and again.

Maybe one day you will finally realize it for yourself.

My moods have been turning sour.

The more I think about you two together, the angrier I get.

My friends, my pack… they all have noticed. They know something is wrong with me and I cant figure out how to change my mood.

Everyone keeps telling me what a fool I am.

My pack is furious. I demanded that they stop going after humans.

I was afraid one day they might come across you.

Each human I look at seems to have your face.

I hadn't felt a fondness for them before you. But now…

Now I want to protect anything that's close to you.

I think my pack has lost some of my respect for me. Fuck, I'm losing it for myself.

I keep telling myself I'm an idiot.

Just fuck the guy up. Hit him. Gut him. Kill him and claim you as mine. You'd come to love me, right?

You came to love that bastard.

But I don't want to win you that way.

I want you to come to my side on your own.

I'll keep my faith that you'll wake up soon.

I'll keep waiting.

A/N:: Thanks for reading! Just a quick little something that came into my head while listening to a song. This is a 3 part piece. Next up, Kagome :)


	2. Chapter 2

Kagome

Say something.

You're just standing there, looking at me like that. I cant stand to see that look on your face. The slight pinch of your eyebrows, the hurt in your amber eyes.

To know I did it to you…

I forced your hand.

I knew what the outcome would be, and still I asked…

' _Don't go.'_

You were about to leave, about to go to _her_.

Again.

Normally, I let you go,

Any other day, I would clench my fists and turn my back.

But not today.

I don't know why, there wasn't anything about today that drove me over the edge.

It was a typical day. We traveled, hunted shards. I stopped you from hitting Shippo and Sango actually did hit Miroku. You caught the game, I cooked you dinner. In fact, you could say it was even a _better_ day than most.

No one was hurt when we found that lizard demon. We added another fragment to our growing collection.

I even got to spend some alone time with you.

So why did I have to rock the boat?

Why did I have to follow you? When I saw the soul collectors overhead, a chill ran up my spine. It wasn't because I knew they were carting off the souls of the dead.

It was because I knew they would take you.

She doesn't need them to carry you off; you leave on your own.

It hurts.

Every time, every single time, it kills.

Do you know? You have to know.

How could you not?

My feet moved on their own.

When I saw you look up, craning your neck to see which direction they were headed, I felt a pit sink in my stomach.

I just kept thinking ' _Not again. Not again.'_

Without even looking back at me, you left.

As if they were the guiding North star.

And I just…

I just couldn't take it.

So I followed you.

' _Don't go.'_

I said it.

I cant decide if I'm glad, or kicking myself.

Say something.

Please, for the love of God, say something.

If you don't, if you take that step towards her…

"Say something, Inuyasha."

I can see that this is hurting you.

Clearly, you want to go to her.

And I know you don't want to hurt me.

"…Kagome…"

You love her.

I know that.

You love her, you love her you love her.

It keeps ringing in my head, repeating over and over until I feel dizzy.

Is your love that great?

So grand that I cant understand it? Compare to it?

I would've done anything for you. I would've gone to the ends of the Earth for you.

I would've followed you anywhere.

"I have to. I have to go to her."

Have to?

 _Have to?_

No, you _want_ to.

"I get it." I can feel the lump in my throat.

Am I smiling?

I feel like I must be making a really ugly face.

I don't want you to see me cry.

"Kagome, its just-"

"You don't need to explain."

"You should go to her."

"Kago-"

"Kikyos waiting." I said it louder, more harshly than I intended. Swallowing hard to gather my control, I managed to speak in little more than a whisper, "Go."

I know this isn't easy for you.

But that doesn't excuse it.

It doesn't make it any easier that you turned and jumped into the trees.

And I'm left here, alone with the night and my self hating thoughts.

I cant do this anymore.

Im sorry, Inuyasha.

My love didn't reach you.

I really wish it had.

I'm giving up on you.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:: SO sorry guys! I uploaded the wrong chapter! Thanks for everyone who messaged me!

Inuyasha

I cant help but stare at her.

Sometimes, when there's nothing going on, when the group is taking a break, I'll find a low branch so I can watch over her without everyone's intrusive looks.

Sometimes I do it without even realizing.

Lately, all I can do is stare.

She doesn't let me close to her, not anymore.

Before… before it was so different. She used to sit next to me, even when I felt like being alone. She'd lean her head against my shoulder, her sweet scent surrounding me like a warm blanket.

I miss that.

Its not that I cant smell her now. Its just… _different._ Her scent isn't as welcoming at is once was.

Maybe that's because I'm not welcome.

Don't get me wrong- Kagome is friendly to a fault, but I'd have to be a real fucking idiot not to notice the change in her. She seems so guarded. She looks at me, but she doesn't _really_ look at me. She smiles at me, but it doesn't reach her eyes like it used to.

Nothing is like what it used to be.

Ever since that night, damn… I didn't realize it was an ultimatum I was making.

Fuck, maybe I did.

But I didn't think it was final. Just once more she'd forgive me, right?

Just once more I could push my luck and she'd come back to my side.

I'd come back after seeing Kikyo and Kagome might be there. Maybe not.

If she ran off to the well, I could give her some time to cool off before bringing her back.

Then she'd sit me and we'd continue on.

We could be _good_ again.

Damn, I was such a fool.

I came back that night, not feeling fucking great, I never really do when I see Kikyo, but not feeling awful either. Neutral. I don't really feel much when Im with her. But I came back and she was there.

She was changed.

Fuck, I wish I could take that night back.

I knew I wanted her, knew I had love for her…

Gods, I didn't realize how _in love_ I was with her, didn't realize how much I fucking _liked_ her.

I didn't realize that when she would climb on my back, she would hold me close not for fear of falling, but for comfort. For the touch.

Now, _if_ she graces me with her presence, its feather light on my shoulders.

Yeah, she trusts me.

But she doesn't want to touch me.

I didn't realize how much physical contact we had until it was gone.

Sometimes, when I was feeling low, she would take my hand in hers and give it a gentle squeeze. She wasn't afraid of my claws or the rough callouses. She wasn't disgusted. She sought me out for that touch.

I cant look at my hands without imagining hers.

Even though shes right beside me, walking only a few paces behind, she might as well be on the other side of the well. Theres a barrier here that I cant seem to penetrate; the atmosphere is so thick between us I could slice it with my sword.

Is this what its like for everyone else?

Is this what its like to be a _friend?_

I didn't realize until it was too late that being her friend wasn't enough.

I wish I could kick my own ass.

For a while, I looked for fights. In my frustration I wanted to fuck anyone up that I could. Kagome would meet my eyes? Throw in an extra punch for the demon who had the shard. Kagome gave me a fake smile? Just take down a dozen trees. Kagome wont be alone with me?

Well, I had to get control of myself that day. I was fucking seeing red. I was so unstoppable that I ended up with a wound through my side that you could almost fucking see through.

Kagome was frantic that day. She bandaged me up, a scowl on her face and I thought I finally found a way to break her, a way to bring her back to me. It was just going to cost me a lot of physical pain.

I was prepared for it, ready to take a few hits and have her wrap my wounds.

But it wasn't like that.

She quietly cleaned and bandaged me, and when she was finished she asked in a small, serious voice, "Please stop hurting yourself."

Not only couldn't I get her to budge, but she asked something of me.

How the hell could I refuse that?

I thought that maybe if I could get her to look at me, then maybe she'd come back…

I never expected she wouldn't.

Everyones been saying what a bad mood Im in.

The runt constantly is making jabs at me. He doesn't realize how close I am to the edge.

Usually when Im like this, its Kagome who can bring me back, calm me down.

Make me sit.

Fucking, _something._

But its her who is causing me to feel this frustration.

Lately, the wolf has been hanging around more.

Lately, she doesn't seem to mind the small distance between them.

My thoughts are turning darker. My mind is racing with questions. _Does she like him? Why does she let him hold her hand like that, but not me? Why does her laugh sound sweeter when hes around? Is she more comfortable with him, than with me? Does she like him? Does she like him?_

 _Does she like me?_

I feel like such a fucking fool.

I chose Kikyo. I chose the person I didn't love, Hell, I didn't even chose a person! I traded in the love of a warm woman for a frozen corpse. Shippo is right, I'm a fucking moron.

That night I turned my back on her, and she let me go.

I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to get her back to my side.

Maybe if I talked to her, she would understand. I'm just afraid to open my mouth and duck things up more. At least right now, shes near me. At least, for now, I can still catch glimpses of her smiling with Shippo, hear her laughing with Sango, joking with Miroku…

At least for now, shes here.

So I'll just stare.

I'll just watch. Watch as she moves on; Finds a guy that's better than me. I knew from the beginning that she was someone I couldn't have. I'm just constantly chasing that feeling of rejection.

I only realized her worth when her warmth was gone.

How can I let that go?


End file.
